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When It Rains, It Pours: Healing Worry, Fear, Anger and Grief

  Have you ever had a day, week, month or year where it felt like “When it rains, it pours?”  The summer months provided extensive opportunities for working with challenges for myself and family. In fact, at times, it felt like that adage could have changed to “When it rains, it monsoons.”  

My mother was hospitalized for the residual effects of a heart attack that occurred last February twice afterward. I found that visiting the hospital, watching my mother go through several intensive processes to rule out different lung and heart health issues, and observing her and my own feelings stimulated worry, fear, anger and grief.  

Resonance Repatterning® came forward for this out pour of emotions of worry, fear, anger and grief. The Chinese Five Element and Meridian System, the Ayurvedic System from India, Jin Shin Jyutsu (Japanese accupressure) and Family Systems were the disciplines that changed challenge into healing in sessions over the summer. The Repatterning process works with both coherent and non-coherent aspects of any situation physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Chinese Medicine Wheel with photos by Kimberly Rex
Chinese Medicine Wheel

Worry/Earth Element
Clearly, when you have a situation that you think you cannot do much about or know what or when the outcome will be, worry can become the overriding emotion. On the
Chinese Five Element and Meridian System Wheel, worry is the non-coherent aspect of Earth Element. The coherent aspect of Earth Element is nurture and support. This speaks to physical as well as emotional levels. Both the patient and the patient’s family members can experience worry. Not knowing when the next test might be or what it might report, the medications, the trips back and forth to the hospital put everyone in alert mode.

I turned to Resonance Repatterning sessions to get information from my mother’s body-mind system about her physical needs. It checked that the core current of her energy flow in her spine was imbalanced. I muscle-checked that she needed a Jin Shin Jyutsu session called Main Central that works with the mid-line of the body from the forehead to the tailbone. It was possible to give this session in her hospital bed, and it brought relaxation and calm.
Family: It was important to nourish ourselves with complete meals that were balanced and to take the time to listen to each other. This form of nourishment balances the need for Heart Energy, and harmonizes the non-coherent aspect of Water Element, fear. It also allows the space to express emotions that can be transformed with another person’s perspective, compassion and understanding.

If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far. ~Daniel Goleman

Fear/Water Element
My mother was scheduled for a C-Scan that included a stretcher ride out to a truck in the parking lot with a face mask on a hot day. My mother only needed to have a scan for her lungs face up, however, she was also placed face down, and felt like she was smothering. When she returned, her heart rate was arrhythmic, and she was extremely stressed and upset.
Working with gentle Jin Shin Jyutsu (Japanese accupressure) and Polarity Points on her feet and knees, her heart rate came back into a normal range and she calmed down into a light sleep.

photo by Kimberly Rex
photo by Kimberly Rex

Self: The situation was also creating fight or flight within myself and my family members.  I began to take notice of my need to create more heart nurture, and spiritual connection for more grounding and balance. I turned to my garden for nurture, and spent each morning touching each flower and smelling each rose, a natural anti-anxiety aromatherapy modality that connected me to the support of the Earth.

Anger/Wood Element
At one point during my mother’s stay in the hospital, I found myself directly facing my own feelings of frustration and upset.

I made  calls to practitioners and nurses to be sure that my mother was being heard for her needs. I was overtaken with the feelings of confusion and concern by the number of medications she was taking, and felt upset by the number of communications that didn’t seem to match between practitioners within the hospital itself. At one point, it was all I could do to even be inside the hospital.

Self:  I knew also that I needed to work directly with my feelings through cleansing my Wood Element liver and gall bladder physically and emotionally. I took to juicing and a detox cleanse for two weeks that benefited me in feeling more clarity, optimism and big picture perspective. I used Jin Shin Jyutsu and Polarity points for my own feelings of anxiousness, frustration and grief to nourish my body-mind system in the process, as well as Repatterning sessions.

Grief/Metal Element

After my mother came home, it was through the process of Family Systems material, with permission from my mother, to be able to acknowledge hidden grieving anniversaries within our family related to the loss of my mother’s siblings. The tie-in between these three relatives included two birthdays and a death on the birthday of one brother on the exact day that the other brother was born during the summer months.
In a 
Health Repatterning, both my mother and I did a session to discover the contributing emotional roots. The material opened a doorway to look at an Early Experience for her at age 4. The session worked to acknowledge, feel and heal the hurt, frustration and grief of that time that had not been healed. Giving meaning and value to her needs was important.
Healing is bringing mercy and awareness into that which we have held in judgment and fear.~Stephen Levine

Bert Hellinger, the creator of Family Systems, states that we all live in a world of duality. You can only experience  joy to the degree you acknowledge and give yourself the permission to experience the opposite. To experience both poles, it’s important to receive permission from your family to be able to experience and express all of your feelings. Many times, this is not possible. For example, while sadness may have been an emotion that was allowed, your family might not have allowed the expression of anger. Therefore, out of loyalty, you feel sadness, yet are unable to process anger fully. Creating a healthy place for all your emotions relates directly to your physical health. By bringing the shadow feelings into the light to honor their need for release and healing allows the body-mind system to communicate resolution to create greater wholeness.

  It is remarkable how much calmer I’ve felt after this repatterning. It felt good to honor our family members who had passed. We celebrated them with a pineapple-upside-down cake for my uncle’s birthday because it was one of his favorites that he shared with family!

  Expressing feelings that have been in the shadow of our Family System is new for all of us. My mother and I talked about all of our feelings that transpired during these months to create greater understanding and compassion. And, although it feels new, it is very good for us to honor the truth and the possibility of life with greater depth of feeling and appreciation for every moment of the process.

 Giving your emotions support, exploring their root and the underlying needs is one the purposes of Resonance Repatterning. Sign up for FREE monthly newsletter to receive more information, monthly modalities and access to exclusive repatternings  at 


About Kimberly Rex, Certified Resonance Repatterning and Life Coaching Practitoner

Kimberly is a Certified Master Life Coach, Resonance/Holographic Repatterning Practitioner and Person-Centered Expressive Therapist who helps you achieve your life goals by phone, Skype, in-person or proxy. Find out more about Resonance Repatterning and Repatterning Your Life Coaching packages in her FREE monthly newsletter with exclusive articles on conciousness science, monthly healing modalities and exclusive session offerings at


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